ive decided im bad for him cause hes outgoing and likes to be around his family (they surround us)i like to be at home in the dark by myself...
i dont like to talk r hang out with them .. i make my self have something to do with my daughter and god knows i love her,,,i am at the end of the rope and its withering away to nothing
Please, please get yourself to a psychiatrist so you can be evaluated for medication! You could potentially get so much relief this way. If you can't get to a psychiatrist go to an emergency room and tell them how suicidal you are and that you need to talk to a psychiatrist about medication.
Killing yourself will hurt your daughter for the rest of her life, and may even hurt her children for their lives. Think about how the people in your family who've killed themselves have affected you. It is essential you stay alive and try to get help for many reasons, but especially because if you do it, your daughter is more likely to do it too.
But you can't just stay alive and continue to suffer, so please get help from a psychiatrist! Do you live in the Bay Area?