Well, I haven't seen Ricky since last Saturday, when IT happened.  My therapist has been great.  She didn't take sides, but I knew she totally got what it was like for me to know my boyfriend looks at Barbie porn. She told me to talk about it with him, because I was making all kinds of assumptions without really knowing if they were true--like that he doesn't like my body because it doesn't look like that, and that I don't satisfy him, and that he only treats me nicely to get sex out of me but doesn't really care about me....  She also reminded me that my Dad was always flirting--with every woman he came across, and it used to embarrass me and make me mad because he was focusing on them rather than me.  I realized this reminds me of that--like of being jealous of the porn because it's taking Ricky's attention and admiration away from me. Anyway, I finally listened to his messages, and he sure sounds like he loves me alot, so I agreed to go out with him tonight and see what he has to say for himself.  Boy, do I have questions!